Feels inferior is one kind of negative self-appraisal or the self-awareness, the inferiority is the individual to own ability and the quality appraisal somewhat low one kind of passive emotion. The inferiority production, often by no means knows difference, but is the difference which feels. Its root is the people does not like with the reality standard or the criterion weighs himself, but believes either supposes itself to achieve some kind of standard or the criterion. Like “I should thus and such and such”, “I be supposed to look like somebody to be the same” and so on. This kind of pursue mostly divorceds from the reality, will only multiply more worries and feels inferior, causes itself to be more despondent and to rebuke oneself. Feels inferior is archenemy of the life success. Since the ancient times, how many artificial feels inferior, but deep worried, how many artificial seeks for the method which overcomes feels inferior to search with hardship. Below these ways and the method have operationally, is helpful gets rid in the people feels inferior, moves toward self-confidently.
Feels inferior with compensation psychology surmounting
The compensation psychology is one kind of mental adaptation mechanism, the individual always has some deviations in the adaptation society’s process, to obtain the compensation. Looked from the psychology that this kind of compensation, is actually one kind “shifting”, namely to overcome in oneself physiology in the flaw or psychological feeling inferior, but develops oneself other aspect strong point, the superiority, catches up with or passes through other people’s one kind of mental adaptation mechanism, was precisely this psychic mechanism function, the inferiority has become many successful public figure’s successful powers, has become their superego “turbocharging”, but “the physiological deficiency” a bigger person, their inferiority was also stronger, sought the compensation the desire to be bigger, the achievement great undertaking’s qualification on were more.
Under the compensation psychology’s function, the inferiority has causes the counter-tension which the human goes forward. Because feels inferior, the people clear even excessively will realize their insufficiency, this will urge it to study others’ strong point diligently, will make up own insufficiency, will thus cause its disposition to receive whets, but the strong disposition gains the successful psychological basis.
Feels inferior can urge the human to move toward successfully. The humanist Witter · wave storehouse pointed out that has one kind of intelligence in each person’s heart of hearts, relies on this intelligence, the people can complete many abundant merit causes. This kind of intelligence is latent in each person heart of hearts strength, namely maintains the individuality, the resistance external infringement strength. It is the human “the dignity” and “the personality”. The people to defend their dignity and the personality, requests itself to overcome feels inferior, defeats. Therefore, the embarrassed all sorts of factors often may become develop their springboard. A person’s true value, whether are the morals decided by surmount from the self-establishment trap, but can rescue us truly, only then we. Namely so-called “God only helps the human who these can help oneself”.
The powerhouse is not inborn, the powerhouse also by no means does not have is weak, the reason that the powerhouse becomes the powerhouse, lies in him to be good at defeating own weakness. At the beginning of a generation of star Belli when most has the fame Santos football team to Brazil, he is afraid these big star players to despise itself, is unexpectedly anxious a night not to sleep, he originally is in the field outstanding person, but actually for no reason suspects itself, frightened other people. Afterward he tried in the field to forget, dedicated played soccer, maintains one kind of self-possessed point of view, henceforth then by sharp might not keep off the potential to have more than 1000 goals. Star Belli defeats the process which feels inferior to tell us: Do not suspect that oneself, disparages itself, so long as marches forward courageously, puts to move, certainly can move toward successfully. Gradually, from which anxious, frightened, will feel inferior will extricate. Therefore, feels inferior unwillingly, goes all out to make the nation strong, the positive compensation, is the good medicine which the treatment feels inferior.
The psychological compensation is one kind the mechanism which causes the human to convert failure into victory, if utilizes appropriately, will be helpful to the life boundary development. But should pay attention to two points: First, cannot aim too high, pursues the compensation goal which is impossible to realize; Second, do not receive the spiteful mood the obligation. Only the positive psychological compensation, can drive that he achieves the higher object in life.
Facing is defeated with the optimistic attitude
In the self-compensation’s process, still needs correctly facing the defeat. Road of the life, the bon voyage are few, the winding roughness are many, the success is constitutes by the innumerable defeats, just like GE founder Wort said: “to successful Lu Ji: The number of times which is defeated you doubles.”But the defeat to the human is one kind “negative stimulation”, the general meeting causes the human to produce not happily, depressed, feels inferior. Then, how to face? How self-extrication? Whether becomes to defeat feels inferior, moves toward the self-confident key.
Facing the setback and the defeat, only have the optimistic positive point of view, is the correct choice. First, achieves tenaciously, does not give up because of the setback pursuing; Second, the attention adjustment, reduces is separated from “the goal” actual originally, changes the strategy promptly; Third, drive itself with “the partial success”; Fourth, use the self-psychological adjustment law, sharpens the psychological bearing capacity.
Must make itself not to become “the frequent loser”, must be good at unearthing, using own “the resources”. Although sometimes the individual cannot change “the environment” “arrangement”, but who is also unable eliminates its achievement “the self-master” the right. Should say that now the society greatly increases this aspect development opportunity, so long as dares to attempt, dares to strive for success, will be certainly will be potential achievement. Qu Yuan sends into exile is bestows on “to Show”, Sima Qian is becomes the castration “Shihchi”, is because they whenever isn’t discouraged, does not feel inferior, has the tenacious will! Had this point, will work loose the difficult position the fetter, will move toward the life the magnificence.
In addition, takes modern people, should have greets the defeat the preparation. The world has had the successful opportunity, also has filled defeat’s possibility. Must therefore enhance unceasingly deals with the setback and disturbance ability, adjusts itself, the enhancement society adaptive faculty, believed that the defeat is mother of the success. If after each time is defeated, can have the institute “the comprehension”, treats as the successful prelude each defeat, then can melt negatively to positively, changes feel inferior self-confidently.
Is self-confident with the practical action establishment
Conquers dreads, defeats feels inferior, cannot line of gab, stops in the fantasy, but must put to practice, sees in the motion. Establishes self-confidently is quickest, the most effective method, is the matter which makes itself to be afraid, until obtains successfully. The concrete method is as follows:
1. highlights itself, front selects the seat to sit
At the multiform meeting, in each type’s classroom, the following seat first is always been occupied by the human, the majority occupies the back row seat’s person, hoped that oneself cannot “be too conspicuous”. But they feared that is gazed the reason the human is the deficient confidence.
Sits can establish the confidence in front. Because dares the manner first, before daring the human, under will dare to put in is in the glare of the public eye, must have the enough courage and the guts. Long it, this behavior has become the custom, feels inferior also becomes in influencing subtly self-confidently. Moreover, sits in the conspicuous position, will enlarge itself in the leader and teacher in the field of vision proportion, the frequency which the enhancement will appear repeatedly, will play strengthens own role. Treats as a rule this to try to look that starts from the present as far as possible to proceed to sit. Although front will sit will be quite conspicuous, but must remember, related success’s all will be conspicuous.
2. opens the big eye, faces up to others
The eye is the mind window, a person’s look may reflect the disposition, discloses the emotion, transmits the subtle information. Does not dare to face up to others, means that feels inferior, is timid, fears; Avoids others’ look, then reflects gloomily, not the broad and level point of view. Faces up to others to be equal to that tells opposite party: “I am honest, frank and upright; I respect respect you, likes you.”Therefore, faces up to others, is the positive point of view reflection, is the self-confident elephant drafts, is individual charm demonstration.
3. chins up and chests out, travel along
Many psychologists believed that the people walk the posture, the step and its psychology have certain relations. The sluggish posture, the slow step are the fall in the blues the performance, is to oneself, to the work as well as the reflection which is not happy to others feels. If will observe carefully will discover, body’s movement will be the mind activity result. These suffer the attack, the human who repels, walks hauls, lacks self-confidently. In turn, the posture which and the speed walks through the change, is helpful in the mood adjustment. Must display the unusual confidence, takes the road to come to be quicker than the average person. The walking speed will speed up, as if tells the entire world: “I must to an important place, handle the very important matter.”Step lively agile, the physique chins up and chests out, will bring the bright mood to the human, will cause to feel inferior runs away, will multiply self-confidently.
4. the practice speaks in the presence of everyone
Speaks facing the big crowd of people, needs the huge courage and the guts, this is the raise and the exercise self-confident important way. Around us, has many mentalities to be keen, the natural talent quite high person, is actually unable to display their strong point participation discussion. It is not they do not want to participation, but deficient confidence.
In the public situation, the uncommunicative people thought: “my opinion possibly does not have the value, if says, others will possibly think are very stupid, let alone I should better anything also, moreover, other people will possibly understand compared to me many, I do not want to let them know that I will be such ignorant.”These people will promise the uncertain promise frequently to oneself: “and so on next time speaks again.”But they very clear are is unable to realize this promise. Uncommunicative each time, has hit deficient confidence toxin, he will lose self-confidently more and more.
Looking from the positive angle, if speaks as far as possible, will strengthen the belief. No matter is participates in any nature the conference, each time must speak on own initiative. Human who many originally simple-hearted or have stuttering, is speaks through the practice becomes in the presence of everyone self-confident, like Shaw, Kakuei Tanaka, German plan Si Tini and so on. Therefore, the speech is in the presence of everyone the confidence “the vitamin”.
5. academic society smile
The majority of people knew that smiles can give the human to be self-confident, it treats the good medicine which the confidence is insufficient. But still had many people not to believe this set, because in their fear time, ever does not try to smile.
Not only true smiles can cure own bad mood, but can also melt others’ hostile feeling immediately. If you unfold the face smile sincerely to a person, he will have the favorable impression to you, this kind of favorable impression will cause you to be self-confident sufficiently. Just like a poem said: “the smile is the weariness the rest, depressed the daytime, mourner’s sunlight, the nature best nutrition
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